Fastidious – Losing Weight

We were working on an important travel file for McCarthy’s Party Tours, and though the trip wasn’t scheduled until 2021 – a proposal was due by week’s end. The tourism season might be long finished but fall and winter preparations are the most critical work windows for our family’s tour business, and I was feeling miserable.

Despite a 20-year run on an incredibly successful back surgery, the past had returned to taunt me. A fluke snowmobile accident tweaked my knee earlier that winter. A long tour season soon followed, and without the ability to bend properly (Bend at the knees – nose in between), I soon found myself immobilized and back in rehab for several weeks.

Despite all our efforts, the back refused to come around. It was frustrating and caused much lamentation;

“I’m miserable and don’t know what else to do here. I’ve been through physio and have maintained the stretching and morning exercise routine. I’m walking 10,000 steps a day. Not doing any lifting or engaging in any form of extreme activity, aside from our daily photography sessions and some of the climbing necessitated for a better vantage point. This is killing me.”

To which my brother suggested;

“Andy, the best thing you can do for your back is drop between 20 and 25 pounds.”

I looked at him in dismay and replied incredulously (not even realizing I’d put weight on);

“Have you not been listening to a word I said. Lord suffering Mark, I don’t stop moving man. What else do you expect me to get at?”

“Yeahhhhh,,,,, Andy, when you get to our age, exercise is not going to help you with any significant weight loss. You’ve got to change your diet man. Its not hard, you just remove the carbs. Take out all the bread, the rice, and the pasta. Then the weight will drop off.”

Well if there’s one thing I do better than anyone else on the planet, its what I’m told.

But talk about a reality check. Had no idea how much bread we were eating till it stopped – figure it was near on to 8 – 12 slices a day. You know the first thing you have in the morning is toast and tea. Often with a side of saltines smothered in peanut butter. When the youngsters get going there’s always bacon and eggs, served with more toast. The children won’t eat the crust and there’s no way that’s going in the garbage. That’s 6 slices of bread before leaving the house in the morning.

A couple of sandwiches adds another 4 slices. And of course, we pop fresh baked dinner rolls like bon bons once supper rolled around.

I get it – But really? How in the name of God do you eat eggs without toast? And how would you go about making a sandwich?

You don’t.

Of course, it took a while to adapt but if you follow this guide – you’ll drop the pounds in what will prove to be the most effective and affordable way to reduce weight from your ride this winter. Not to mention the increased energy, improved breathing, and a stronger body for the truly ‘tangly’ riding we anticipate in the upcoming season.

  1. Omelettes are your best friend. Lots of bacon and sliced vegetables serve as the binder and delivery system for your new breakfast staple. Enjoy healthy sized portions.
  2. Meat – you can eat as much protein as you like so long as you choose the appropriate side dish. Steak and salad anyone? How about two steaks? Go for it. Just say no to the garlic bread and baked potato
  3. Meat might be man’s best friend, but ‘Charcuterie’ is your life long buddy. Cold cuts of any strain mix well with pickles and cheese, olives, onions, sliced peppers, you name it. Substitute bread and crackers with a slice of meat, pile on the toppings, and fold it like a taco shell. A brilliant delivery system
  4. A burger is still a burger without the bun. And now you can pile the toppings twice as high – so long as you still remember how to use a knife and fork.
  5. Fruit is your friend. Though filled with sugars – they’re pretty simple carbs that break down easily. A tasty snack that’s very portable and nutritious
  6. Water – Un verre d'eau, s’il vous plaît. Drink lots of water. It keeps you hydrated, helps oral fixations, and it makes a great substitute for pop – even when used as “Mix”. Scotch and water? Eh boy!
  7. Booze – Really? Drink up and enjoy. You’ll burn that off dancing – supposing it’s only around the shop.
  8. Dairy – no restrictions here either. Lots of cream in your coffee, loads of butter on your vegetables, and gargle yogurt by the gallon – topping it with a handful of granola to add  substance.
  9. Fat – Fat is good and you’re going to need as much as you can find on your plate. Fat is another great binder that tastes great and is quite good for you. Break out the bacon, pile on the real mayo, and find the most marbled servings of protein available.
  10. Sweat your Brains out. This is a thinking man’s game, and we’re just creating a reset opportunity. Once you get the weight under control you can start adding carbs back into your diet, just make an official boycott on chips and any kind of snack crackers. Savour those breads and a properly balanced diet with appropriate serving sizes.